I love the way that Nick Cannon declares his love for Mariah Carey. I just finished watching the Kevin Hart series The Real Husbands Of Hollywood. A show that focuses on the satirical relationships between several hilarious and brilliant comedic couples including Tisha Campbell-Martin (from Martin). And throughout the show, the ongoing joke is about him being 'Miss Mariah', but he never rejects it. He in fact embraces it openly. The first episode he even wears an apron that reads Mr. Mimi while he is barbecuing, he sets his alarm to go home at midnight to see Mariah after hanging out with the boys, he just loves himself some her!
Regardless of the ways that insecure people criticize his 'masculinity', he opens identifies as Mr. Mariah Carey. Why would we be mad? Why would we shame this man over and over again for loving this woman so deeply that he reaffirms it in every public encounter.
This is so rare. And although I know nothing about their personal relationship, so often the i
mage represented in corporate media, is that men don't love their partners, they think that they are annoying and they just put up with them. I have seen this 'joke' played out in sitcom after sitcom. And when masculine people love women a lot, it is always framed as a flaw, or a weakness like Steve Urkel before he became Stephan.
What is being taught, if masculine people are shamed in much media when they express open loving, declarative possibly even submissive feeling for women? What is being taught if the 'cool' ways and the acceptable ways are to be less attached and attentive?
All these things must be practiced with consent. Grand gestures without consent can be invasive and frightening. When we love each other with clear permission in the ways that we each individually desire and negotiate, that is a beautiful thing.
