On Janay Palmer, Ray Rice & The Spectacle Of Violence Against Black Women

TW* Domestic Violence

I was just watching the video of Janay Palmer & Ray Rice and his violent assault of her and the other men on the scene who did nothing. The comments have been abhorrent, claiming 'self-defense'. (He is a NFL Player, the modern day equivalent of a gladiator, there is no way to rationalize KNOCKING HER UNCONSCIOUS.) 

As a Black woman, when I leave the house everyday, it's not a matter of whether someone will say or do something to emotionally or physically degrade me, it is literally a question of the number of times someone will touch my body without my permission, will make sexual remarks about my body under their control, not to mention the countless fucking ways that other women engage in pre-emptive victim blaming, as though a push up bra is more powerful than a grown ass man with a hatred for women. 

I have so many memories and experiences of violent assault and near rape. I have been knocked out by men and it wasn't because they had a 'hand problem' or an 'aggression problem' it is because they literally despise black women and they wanted to kill me.

It should not be so easy to just change the subject. It should be staggering and tragic. Everytime it happens, each woman, Black Trans* Women and non- Trans* women alike. 

But we don't warrant boycotts, and moments of silence and walkouts. We are problems, threats to men's promising futures and existing careers, we are 'wild and crazy', spectacles of shame and failed attempts at self love, affronts to Black masculinity, welfare queens, hoes. It is literally opposite world when Miss Jill Scott is shamed for pictures being shared against her will, while the men who broke multiple laws in order to violate her and other women are ignored at best and applauded at worst. Did you know that youtube was started because of the #Super Bowl where Janet Jackson was blamed for a less famous white guy becoming more famous by exposing her breast against HER will?? The creators wanted an easy way to access the video and thus youtube was born. Literally the spectacle of Black womanhood is used to make billions, while we only receive the shame.

We should matter more to everyone. And part of the daily act of solidarity, we have an ability in each moment to care more. To open our hearts more to the suffering of others. We can't change the whole world, but you are the filter by which you experience this whole world. You can change you. You have the power to care more, to feel a little bit more rage about it, to be a little more sensitive, to stop ignoring the suffering of others . It is possible to do that right phucking now, at your desk, on your lunch, to feel more for each other! It doesn't mean that there will be less space for you and your needs and your struggles when you grow your capacity for empathy & solidarity. 

Caring about each other more in both thought and action, nurturing a loving response to suffering of others amplifies our collective capacity for greatness. 
#blackwomenmatter #blacklives #allofusornoneofus